the mysterious ways of fate

  when i was a child, a long long time ago [insert irony] i used to both dream and believe being endowed with the mystical and hidden forces of magic. however, there was one huge drawback, that in the course of time got more and more clear to me: i was like a bad luck charm.

seriously, i began to think that not only would i generally bring bad luck to the people around me, but more specifically every good magic i tried to weave would twist itself into something more or less opposite and certainly bad for either me or people close to me.
long did i carry these thoughts, long did i try to train myself not to allow the thrill of anticipation for my magic or fate would certainly do something to keep me from whatever i anticipated. clearly to me, the more i was longing for something, the higher the chances of it suddenly and inexplicably going out of my reach.

puberty came and my mind and body were busy with many other things and battles far away from the living magic of my childhood. as i saw the world as generally against me [i guess i'm not talking about anything unknown here] i had other reasons and mechanisms to deal with anticipation and disappointment.
later, i somehow got closer to the magic of my childhood again, though very differently, of course, and it changed me again. i gave up searching for strange and mystical reasons and simply tried to accept the course of life and the fact that we can never understand all factors that determine actions, happenings and luck or bad luck around us. one could say, i got somewhat optimistic, over time.

yesterday i wrote a blog entry motivated by the anticipation of my playstation3 coming back from repair today. anticipation; oh, the thrill of it.
i waited this morning for a call from the store, which never came. then i called and was informed that the console was there and ready to be picked up. so i headed out, made the few steps over to the store and the friendly assistant went off to get my precious.
after standing there for what seemed like a very long time he came back, empty handed, and asked for my papers because he couldn't find the console, even though the system said it was there. another half eternity followed, in which i watched disney / pixar trailers on huge tvs and listened to an old couple buying wireless headphones to watch tv in bed with. the assistant came back, empty handed again, and told me my console simply wasn't there and he had to call the headquarters about the situation. after assuring me he'd call, he turned to the next customer and i walked home through the fog of my disappointment.

some hours later, terribly annoyed by the lack of calls from the store, i went back to inquire about the situation. two times, the nice-eyed assistant said, had he talked with the headquarters and they had no idea how my system got lost on the way from the to the little store. he assured me they were on the issue and told me he hoped to call me back this afternoon with results.
i walked home over the shards of my shattered day.

less than an hour ago, i began to get uneasy about the shop's early closing hours, my mobile rang; finally. charmingly-voiced assistant told me happily and shortly that the headquarters decided it wasn't my fault and he'd give me another ps3.
so i went over again, got a new ps3, new insurance papers and my smile back. right now, the system update progress bar shows 56 percent and i'm already happy i managed to connect to the internet so much faster than last time [i.e. weeks]. soon, my dears, i will vanish from this day and fade into the world of GTAIV, maybe to return sometime tomorrow or else into this crazy world of anticipation, magic and fate.